You Tube Comments...

So, seriously...what the hell is wrong the majority of people that leave comments on You Tube?


I mean, I guess I know there's the whole Troll thing that goes on all over the Internet, but  I mean really.  REALLY.  What goes on in these people's heads?


I don't know that I've ever come across a video on You Tube and not been assaulted by the racist, misogynistic, hateful comments that are completely irrelevant to the video post.


Why do you keep looking at the comments, you moron?


I hear you.  I do.  Sometimes the first comment is something related to the video, and foolishly I hope for a continued thread of discussion.  I don't think this has ever happened for more than 3 comments in a row.


You know what?  Maybe I'm just jealous b/c I rarely have any comments, and I just want to pretend that people are going to comment on one of my writings. 


Gah.  Now I've got to go look at some fuzzy cute animal pictures to clear my mind of that hateful crap.


Oooo...this is pretty good - (you'll thank me for it, or mercilessly mock me for it.  Regardless, chances are pretty much in my favor that you won't do it on this site)  http://www.acuteaday.com/blog/category/sleepy-animals-2/

Dear Daylight Savings Time,

I know you think you're doing everybody a big favor by giving us more daylight, and it's true. Yes, it's true.  Thank you.  Please, don't misinterpret my meaning here.  You know there's a big "but" coming here (and I'm not talking about the kind Sir Mix-a-Lot digs).


But here's the thing DST.  You come on a Saturday night at, what? 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning? So people that have been out late having a good time have to struggle to get up to go to church (if they do that), maybe get up to go to they gym, or go get a bagel or crossiandwich.  


Whatever you do when you get up, most people  have a hard time getting up and going the next day.  And you know what?  The day after is even worse.  


Seriously.  A  Monday the day after we lose an hour of sleep?   Come on, DST. You can't honestly sit there and tell me that you wonder why some people get hostile about you.   Why some people won't even recognize your existence. Aloha, Hawaii.


"Spring Forward!" my arse.  You know what happens when you spring someone forward, DST?  Do you?  Typically they fall right on their face.  Fall back, and it's more likely that someone will catch you.


So, here's what I propose.   Let's keep this thing going.  I like the idea of having more daylight.  I do.  I like for it to be light in the summer so the Girls can stay and play later.  I like getting home from work after 6:00 and it's still not dark. Please, don't get the wrong idea. I like you.  You're okay in my book.  You've just got to plan your entrance a little better.


Instead of Saturday night, why don't you try coming Friday night?  


I hear you.  Nobody likes early arrivers, you say.  Not true.  It's not. Listen to people talk.  


I wish Friday would get here sooner.
I wish it was Summer already.
I wish my birthday was today.


Lots of people like things to arrive early. Lots.


What's to lose? You show up early, people are a little grumpy Saturday morning.  By Sunday almost everyone has their clocks set right, and they're running late giving whoever it is that's waiting on them the Grin & Shrug - "Daylight Savings Time messed me up".  They're not taking the blame themselves.  They're throwing you under the bus.


So what do you say?  Why not give it a try?  Try it out, walk around in it for a couple of years, and if it doesn't work out, well, we'll see about switching back then.


Don't give me an answer right now.  Think on it. You've practically got a whole year to think about it.  But I can tell you like the idea.  I can tell.

Best. Drawing. EVER!!!

Coco may be experiencing her first Manic burst tonight.  She got a new haircut that she was pretty freaked out about at first, but apparently had some kind of crack-infused hair tonic or something.


After dinner she told me her teacher told her to draw a flying mustache.  I told her that sounded like an awesome idea.  A few minutes later she came downstairs to ask me to draw, "a half sun, some clouds and a flying mustache."


...


"Aren't you supposed to draw the flying mustache?" I ask.
"Well, I'm not very good at drawing them," she told me.


So, after figuring out that "a half sun" is a sun that is not all the way on the page, but is kind of taking up one corner of the page, I drew said sun, two fluffy clouds, "oooh, you're good at that!", and a handlebar mustache floating in the air.


As she was leaving I told her, "You know, mustaches aren't just shapes like that.  They're a whole bunch of hairs all going in one direction that make up a shape of a mustache."  Then I showed her a little example, and beyond all of my expectation, she came up with a good looking flying mustache.  Along with some other items you may have noticed.

• The Pigeon (from the Mo Willems series)
• An ice cream truck with a little kid getting his ice cream from the Ice Cream Man
• a can of Coca Cola, and I don't know if you can tell, but there's a picture of a guy holding a coke can on the can, and on that can is a picture of a guy holding a coke can... (we had that conversation.  I may have prompted it, but she took it and RAN)
• A dog on top of the coke can.  It's dancing.
• An alien baby.
• A baby elephant alien (me - where are its ears? Coco - those lines on its head are the ears. me - oh, right.
• A rocket ship. I must admit that was my idea when she asked, what else should I draw? me - a plane? Coco - ... me - a rocket ship? Coco - AWESOME!!!
• A flying bird
• A multi-colored, polka dotted Panda Bear (R may have come up with that one, actually.  She may have even drawn it, but if so it's an uncredited appearance.)

Right, so this drawing, along with the house she created for her new neighbor, Fred, the albino rubber ducky, ("he's going to live right next to me!!!") seems to have all come from the same source of creative energy that is still surging through the house right now. Here's Fred - 

A little bit about Fred's house, if you'll indulge me.  It's an old gift box that's probably leftover from when GQ and I had our Yellow Dog Folk Art gift store (that's another story from a long time ago).  She's decorated it and came to me to ask me to cut the door so Fred could go inside. We had to make some adjustments b/c Fred is actually bigger than you'd think.  So, after door cutting her final request was for a mail slot ("so I can leave him messages!" there are a lot of exclamation marks being thrown around the Benefield House tonight). Mail slot cut ("it can also be a window!!!")


So, this drawing.  "The Best I've EVER Drawn!!!" will hopefully make it's way to the Morning News at our beloved school.  Our school has a live daily news broadcast where a drawing is showcased during Opening Music, The Moment of Silence, and Closing Music.  Good stuff.


My fear of course is the crash that comes after a Manic burst.  We'll see.  Tomorrow will be here before I know it.

DW has a new title.

From this point forward, my dear wife (DW) will now be known as the Glitter Queen (GQ). That is all.

Hike Inn, Sun Rise, Falling & Mean Girls

The Hike Inn

This weekend the Family went hiking with R’s Girl Scout Troop.  We went to the Len Foote Hike Inn on the Appalachian Trail (AT) - http://hike-inn.com/  - for an overnight stay.  Surprisingly, we were the only full family on this trip. DW made sure to point this out to me, to make sure I knew that it was an anomaly, and that her presence was not completely necessary.

There is a “moderate 5 mile hike” to get to the Inn, which if you’re a hiker or regular exerciser is true.  However, to a 7 year old it was a bit more.  The challenge of the hike was exasperated by Coco's insistence that she carried both her back pack and her fanny pack and intermittently used a walking stick.  She was a trooper the whole time. Keeping up with DW and me, staying ahead of the rear of the line, and keeping her complaints to a minimum. 

Throughout the 3 hour hike the group would stop to let everyone catch up with the Trail Blazers, get a snack, look at the scenery, and catch a little rest.  The problem with this is that by the time the rear of the line catches up, the front of the line is ready to go again.

“Can we leave yet?”

“We’ve been waiting 20 minutes!”

Luckily, the excitement and novelty of being on the AT held their complaints at bay for the most part.  This was also helped by the ample amount of food that was brought along by various parents.  Bananas, trail mix, and Cuties (those not-quite-as-good-Clementines-tangerines).  I, of course, had packed a variety of candy and other processed snacks because I know my family:  Now and Laters, Gummi Worms (regular and sour), caramel squares, Rice Krispies Treats and cheese crackers.  I did not let this be widely known as I did not want the entire troop to take my stash. 

After 3 hours we arrived.  The Inn is quite impressive.  Three buildings with bare bones electricity.  Bare bones everything, really.  Bedrooms are about the size of a small walk-in closet with a set of bunk-beds and a small stool. So, barebones except for the food. Oh my goodness The Food.  These people COOK!  Being on the AT works up a serious appetite. The Inn provides a dinner and a breakfast for their guests.  Our dinner was generous helpings  of roast beast, mashed potatoes, fresh green beans, a spinach salad with BACON and some deliciously sweet citrusy dressing, wheat rolls and for dessert homemade almond pound cake with chocolate icing.  All of this was homemade.  Homemade! 

I’d say we did some fun Girl Scouty stuff after dinner, but that would be a lie.  Our troop doesn’t roll that way.  The girls hung out.  The parents hung out.  The siblings hung out.  A good time was had by all.

Sun Rise

Morning arrived early to the sound of a wooden drum announcing a beautiful sunrise was about to happen.  We had been told this would happen, but you’re not really prepared for the beating, however gently, of a wooden drum at 6:50.  Slowly we emerged, putting clothes on over pajamas and made our way down for some coffee or hot chocolate for a really spectacular view.

The sunrise is something that a lot of us probably take for granted.  I try to notice it whenever I can on the way to work when I’m not angry about something one of The Girls has done to delay our morning commute.  A nice pink sunrise over the pines on Lawrenceville Highway is nice, but Sunrise over the North Georgia Mountains is a completely different site to behold.  Nothing like a good breakfast after a spectacular sunrise.

Scrambled eggs, bacon, oatmeal, some kind of peach cobblery thing and a selection of cold cereal.  Again, all homemade.  They want to fill you up with protein and carbs before you head back onto the AT.  I guess if you hiked 5 miles every day then eating like that wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Falling

Unfortunately “a good time was had by all” didn’t last the whole trip.  There were different reasons for this.  Falling down is the first.  Falling down is funny to watch most of the time.  If you’re the one falling down, it sucks.  It sucks more if the person falling down is your family.  Two of three fallers were, sadly, my family.  R bit it first.  Going too fast, trying to keep up with the Trail Blazers would have been my first guess as to why.  It turns out that was only partially true.  More on that in a minute.  My poor DW was the other family member, and she got it worst of all the fallers. 

I’m still not exactly sure what happened, but she had just saved Coco from impaling herself on a broken stick jutting out the side of the trail.  So she was still freaked out from that and I don’t know if Coco was just tired or what, but she kept bumbling along, partially tripping holding DW’s hand.  Well, the last time it caused DW to fall and because she was holding Coco’s hand she wasn’t able to stop herself and she crashed down onto a gnarled root. 

I was at the back of the line talking with a mother about school stuff when I saw someone down.  Then I saw it was DW and ran up there to see her face bloodied; nose bleeding, cuts across the bridge of her nose, under her eyes, in between her eyebrows. Ugh.  Turns out the sunglasses she was wearing hit the root cutting her face everywhere there was skin contact.  As bad as that sounds, it would have been so much worse. I am eternally grateful for the sunglasses making the Ultimate Sacrifice to save DW.

So, she’s swollen, cut, bruised, but basically okay.  She, of course, is claiming that this incident is proof that she has no business going on Girl Scout outings.  Can’t say I blame her.  Here is the family's reaction to this: R ran away to get in the trouble you're about to read, Coco laughed at her when I put the Band-Aid across the bridge of her nose, and I let her know, "There go your looks". Pretty typical Benefield stuff.

Mean Girls.

This may not surprise some of you, but it caught me off guard.  Girl Scouts can be Mean Girls, too. Turns out the reason R was going so fast is that some of the girls were trying to leave behind one of the other girls.  These girls have been a troop since Kindergarten. They have been together in some form or another since pre-K. I know it’s not unusual for friends to get tired of certain friends, but the girls involved in this really did surprise me.  Both the ones being mean and the one getting left behind.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until it was all over that this came to light.  DW discovered it, almost by chance when we had to address some of R’s pre-pubescent behavior. We thought R was trying to stay away from Coco. That was just part of the truth.  I tell you what; I would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of the smack down she got from DW and me.  I even did the pull-off-on-the-side-of-the-road so we could address it with the appropriate attention. There were lots of tears, and I’m pretty sure she was just a step away from hyper-ventilating.  Coco was laying low and trying to stay unnoticed.

DW had some really horrible Mean Girl experiences when she was growing up.  Really. Horrible. They very much shaped who she has become, and she very firmly believes that had some adult taken notice and put a stop to what was going on her childhood would have been very different.  So, to say that she has no tolerance for anything Mean Girl related is a huge understatement.

End result – R and Coco both now know that not only is it unacceptable to be mean, but that it is their job to let people know that they are not allowed to be mean, and that they are also charged with going to be with the one getting picked on to be their friend.  It’s a big responsibility, but we think that it’s what’s right.  Easy?  No, not at all, but doing what’s right often isn’t, and the earlier they learn this, the better off they, and ultimately, others will be.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some ointment to put on DW's face.

Meet Angel Lawson

I’ve known Angel Lawson in one way or another for a long time.  She can be surprisingly shy so I arranged this interview where she’d be most comfortable; her couch by herself away from all her familial distractions, hoping for her to really open up to me about her writing process.  I should’ve known better.  Kidding! She shared some insight to her writing process and the village that helps keep her Writing Village in order.  I hope you enjoy. 

TB – So first off, congratulations on your book!  This is really exciting. Now, am I correct in saying that you’re giving away the e-book version for free(!!!) of Wraith this weekend?

AL – Yes! It’s my birthday and in the Angel Lawson house you have to pick a birthday to give away stuff instead of receiving stuff. So if the kids can do it then so can I.

TB – That’s pretty generous.  How does that work?

AL – Go to Amazon and download the book to any Kindle receptive product (kindle, computer, iPhone, iPad)

http://www.amazon.com/Wraith-ebook/dp/B0076E8ME4/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&qid=1330093100&sr=1-1-catcorr

TB – How long was the process of doing the book? I mean, coming up with the idea, doing a first draft, editing, finalizing,  getting it turned into an e-book, cover design, etc.  How long did that take?

AL – It took me about 6 months to fully write and edit the book. Then I shelved it for a while, wrote another book and then went back and re-edited again. The second edit took me all of spring break last year.  The formatting process took about 2 months but I was relying on awesome free labor so that may be different than other people. I made the cover so that took me a couple hours once I had the idea together.

TB – Did you have any preconceived notions going into it for the time and effort it would take?

AL – No. I had written some before but nothing on this large of a scale. I kind of tried to have a deadline. I started in the winter and knew it had to be completed (draft wise) before summer starts since I work more in the summer and the kids are home from school.

 TB – What is a usual writing day for Angel Lawson like?   Do you have a set number of pages that you try to get accomplished a day?

AL – No. I really only actively write a couple days a week due to my schedule and ADD (self-diagnosed) if I can get focused I can usually write a 2k word chapter draft in one setting (maybe 3 hours) then I will go back in the next day or so to review it and make small edits. I can write about 5-6k words per week if I’m in the middle of it all.

TB – Were your friends surprised when they found out that you were writing?

AL – Ha! Lots still do not know.  The others? I’m not sure. It was a gradual process. I suspect no one really puts much past me.

TB – Writing is such an independent thing, but you had a good number of people help you out, right?

AL – Yes, it is widely known that it takes a village to help me do anything.

TB – How do you go about picking people to help you? 

AL – Well, when you have readers the first thing you want is people to tell you, “it’s awesome”, so that you are motivated to keep going. You want them to be critical but you also pick people who are your “audience” and will typically like what you are trying to say. The second wave you hope will be more opinionated on storyline and plot. Then comes the edits aka: Grammar Nazi’s. Those are a breed of people all on their own. Scary but necessary.

TB – Stephen King, in his book On Writing, says, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.” Would you say you agree with that?

AL – Yes. The more you read the more you open your brain. The more you write the better you get at it.

TB – What are you currently reading?

AL –  Starring Sally J. Friedman, As Herself-Judy Blume. This was one of my favorite books as a kid. Recently, for my Retro-Bookclub, we picked Forever, by Judy Blume and I was at the used bookstore and found this book. I remembered it and had merged it in my mind with a different book from my childhood (Goodbye, Glamour Girl) that was based in the 1940s in NYC.  When I saw the book and read the back I got so excited that I had found it again. I was one of those kids who had books that were equal to my friends. It was like reuniting with my best friend from the 4^th grade.

TB – All right, let’s move off of the book for a little bit.  Talk to me about your overwhelming awesomosity.  It can’t be easy to carry that burden every day.

AL – It’s hard. I do my best.

TB – You’re quite the humble one.  I’m going to pull us back into writing, because honestly, I don’t know if people can handle too much Awesome at one time.  I like the graffiti motif on the cover and the way Connor is into it in a non-destructive kind of way.  Did you consider having him be the kind of guy that goes and tags places other than the waterworks ruins?  Would it have made him a considerably different character?

AL – I think Connor is more of an artist than an actual tagger. Plus, he’s not really in the position to draw a lot of attention to himself (especially the illegal kind). The Ruins give him a safe place to create.

TB –What kind of research did you do for Wraith?

AL Research?

TB – Okay, moving on.  Your main character, Jane Watts, is a good character.  She’s strong, but not in an unbelievable way.  The way other characters in the book react to her is pretty harsh. She’s alone a lot of the time in the book, with the exception of Evan, and eventually Connor.  Did you find it challenging to have to focus so much on her internal dialogues?

AL – I prefer to write dialogue all the time. I worry that the internal stuff is boring and too telling and not showing. But Jane is alone a lot, so it has to happen.

TB – Would you sell the rights to the book to be made into a movie?

AL – Duh. *I get to pick Connor

TB – What if the person that bought it turned it into a cheesy Lifetime made for TV movie?

AL – Have we met? I love cheesy Lifetime movies. OMG, maybe Valerie Bertinelli can play Aunt Jeanie. That would be awesome. Betty White for the grandma?

TB – Would you put any stipulations that you got to be involved in the casting?

AL –  *see above

TB – Do you listen to music when you write?  Are there any certain songs that you associate with this story?

AL –  Depends on the story and what I’m into at the time. I think I listened to the score and soundtrack from Remember Me when I wrote this as that was released around that time. The one I just completed was a lot of the Vampire Diaries Soundtrack. I’m mentally working on a new book and it’s all Explosions in the Sky.

TB – Anything new your readers can look forward to in the near future from Angel Lawson?

AL – I have one book in edits. Another one, a collaboration, is 95% done. A couple milling in my brain to work on next.

TB – Do you hope to make writing your full time job ever?

AL – Nah. I like part time jobs.

TB – Thanks for taking the time to talk to me and my 6 followers.  Maybe I can mooch off your followers once this comes out.  Ha ha ha. (seriously).  Any parting words of wisdom?

AL – Don’t fight the awesome.

TB – One last question: Would consider trying to get a table at Dragon*Con to promote and sell your books?

AL – Maybe. I’m not sure it’s cost effective, but I would love to do any kind of author panel or signing.

Angel Lawson, besides being a conduit of higher than average Awesomeness is an artist, mom, entrepreneur, and a surprisingly good clogger; although you shouldn’t ask her to show you because it would just be a waste of your time.  Check out her blog at http://succumbingtomyawesomeness.wordpress.com/

Pinterest...wait, WHAT?!?

So I've known about Pinterest for awhile because I know all these women who use it - DW being one, and so many other Thread Ladies, and yes, I've gone on it before and looked at all the things on there, because, you know what? I like to waste time on the Interwebs.  So there.  Yes.  I've looked at it.  It's fascinating really. I totally get why all these women go on it.


I never planned on asking for an invitation to get on it officially, but then one day I got an email saying I'd been issued an invitation. Ooooo!  Who's going to turn down an invitation?  Not me, brother, that's who.


So I go through the motions and click SUBMIT (I should've known better, I suppose), and then HOLY CRAP, I'm following all these women on Pinterest and it's EVERYWHERE on my emails and on Crackbook - Thomas is now following __________. Over and over and over. Dammit this thing is FAST! Apparently Pinterest is for women.


I throw on the Emergency Break, go and unclick everything I can find, and remove Pinterest from my allowed apps on Crackbook because as cool as I am with my ability to be in touch with my feminine side, I actually don't want people thinking I'm a complete Nancy Boy now, do I? [no, no I don't]


I'm still getting emails on a daily basis informing me who's following me on Pinterest now, and I can only think how disappointing it must be for them because I haven't done a thing with my Pinterest account.  My board is bare.  I also think that it's a sad state of affairs that I have more people following me on something I do absolutely nothing on than I do with this blog, my Tumblr and my Twitter account combined.


Okay, I get it.  I am experiencing a tremendous Fail with the whole social networking thing. Right.  Fine. I'm okay with that. (not completely okay with it, b/c I am a bit of an Emo Boy, but nothing that will keep me down for too long - http://youtu.be/zyUsJWO-7jM )


So, if any of you reading this want to make me happy you could always, I don't know, follow me on this blog that I infrequently update, but when I do I think it's entertaining. Including the In Praise of REO Speedwagon post.


By the way, I recently discovered something.  Something made for the Guy that wants to be on Pinterest, but doesn't want to hand over his Guy Card - Gentlemint.

It's Pinterest for men. Men. With manly things.  Look, you can see in the picture - a badass muscle car.  Tall speakers.  A turntable. ALF. ALF for goodness sake! And that wooden comb. I don't know anything more manly than a wooden comb.  So now I have Gentlemint.  I haven't done anything on it yet. My board's still bare on this one too.  I have even issued an invitation to a friend of mine to be on it, because it's so freaking awesome you have to get an invitation. Just like Pinterest!!! By the way, I was on the Beta list for invitations. I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool.


Ah, the Internet. Bringing people together by keeping us apart from others.  Good stuff.