DW has a new title.

From this point forward, my dear wife (DW) will now be known as the Glitter Queen (GQ). That is all.

Hike Inn, Sun Rise, Falling & Mean Girls

The Hike Inn

This weekend the Family went hiking with R’s Girl Scout Troop.  We went to the Len Foote Hike Inn on the Appalachian Trail (AT) - http://hike-inn.com/  - for an overnight stay.  Surprisingly, we were the only full family on this trip. DW made sure to point this out to me, to make sure I knew that it was an anomaly, and that her presence was not completely necessary.

There is a “moderate 5 mile hike” to get to the Inn, which if you’re a hiker or regular exerciser is true.  However, to a 7 year old it was a bit more.  The challenge of the hike was exasperated by Coco's insistence that she carried both her back pack and her fanny pack and intermittently used a walking stick.  She was a trooper the whole time. Keeping up with DW and me, staying ahead of the rear of the line, and keeping her complaints to a minimum. 

Throughout the 3 hour hike the group would stop to let everyone catch up with the Trail Blazers, get a snack, look at the scenery, and catch a little rest.  The problem with this is that by the time the rear of the line catches up, the front of the line is ready to go again.

“Can we leave yet?”

“We’ve been waiting 20 minutes!”

Luckily, the excitement and novelty of being on the AT held their complaints at bay for the most part.  This was also helped by the ample amount of food that was brought along by various parents.  Bananas, trail mix, and Cuties (those not-quite-as-good-Clementines-tangerines).  I, of course, had packed a variety of candy and other processed snacks because I know my family:  Now and Laters, Gummi Worms (regular and sour), caramel squares, Rice Krispies Treats and cheese crackers.  I did not let this be widely known as I did not want the entire troop to take my stash. 

After 3 hours we arrived.  The Inn is quite impressive.  Three buildings with bare bones electricity.  Bare bones everything, really.  Bedrooms are about the size of a small walk-in closet with a set of bunk-beds and a small stool. So, barebones except for the food. Oh my goodness The Food.  These people COOK!  Being on the AT works up a serious appetite. The Inn provides a dinner and a breakfast for their guests.  Our dinner was generous helpings  of roast beast, mashed potatoes, fresh green beans, a spinach salad with BACON and some deliciously sweet citrusy dressing, wheat rolls and for dessert homemade almond pound cake with chocolate icing.  All of this was homemade.  Homemade! 

I’d say we did some fun Girl Scouty stuff after dinner, but that would be a lie.  Our troop doesn’t roll that way.  The girls hung out.  The parents hung out.  The siblings hung out.  A good time was had by all.

Sun Rise

Morning arrived early to the sound of a wooden drum announcing a beautiful sunrise was about to happen.  We had been told this would happen, but you’re not really prepared for the beating, however gently, of a wooden drum at 6:50.  Slowly we emerged, putting clothes on over pajamas and made our way down for some coffee or hot chocolate for a really spectacular view.

The sunrise is something that a lot of us probably take for granted.  I try to notice it whenever I can on the way to work when I’m not angry about something one of The Girls has done to delay our morning commute.  A nice pink sunrise over the pines on Lawrenceville Highway is nice, but Sunrise over the North Georgia Mountains is a completely different site to behold.  Nothing like a good breakfast after a spectacular sunrise.

Scrambled eggs, bacon, oatmeal, some kind of peach cobblery thing and a selection of cold cereal.  Again, all homemade.  They want to fill you up with protein and carbs before you head back onto the AT.  I guess if you hiked 5 miles every day then eating like that wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Falling

Unfortunately “a good time was had by all” didn’t last the whole trip.  There were different reasons for this.  Falling down is the first.  Falling down is funny to watch most of the time.  If you’re the one falling down, it sucks.  It sucks more if the person falling down is your family.  Two of three fallers were, sadly, my family.  R bit it first.  Going too fast, trying to keep up with the Trail Blazers would have been my first guess as to why.  It turns out that was only partially true.  More on that in a minute.  My poor DW was the other family member, and she got it worst of all the fallers. 

I’m still not exactly sure what happened, but she had just saved Coco from impaling herself on a broken stick jutting out the side of the trail.  So she was still freaked out from that and I don’t know if Coco was just tired or what, but she kept bumbling along, partially tripping holding DW’s hand.  Well, the last time it caused DW to fall and because she was holding Coco’s hand she wasn’t able to stop herself and she crashed down onto a gnarled root. 

I was at the back of the line talking with a mother about school stuff when I saw someone down.  Then I saw it was DW and ran up there to see her face bloodied; nose bleeding, cuts across the bridge of her nose, under her eyes, in between her eyebrows. Ugh.  Turns out the sunglasses she was wearing hit the root cutting her face everywhere there was skin contact.  As bad as that sounds, it would have been so much worse. I am eternally grateful for the sunglasses making the Ultimate Sacrifice to save DW.

So, she’s swollen, cut, bruised, but basically okay.  She, of course, is claiming that this incident is proof that she has no business going on Girl Scout outings.  Can’t say I blame her.  Here is the family's reaction to this: R ran away to get in the trouble you're about to read, Coco laughed at her when I put the Band-Aid across the bridge of her nose, and I let her know, "There go your looks". Pretty typical Benefield stuff.

Mean Girls.

This may not surprise some of you, but it caught me off guard.  Girl Scouts can be Mean Girls, too. Turns out the reason R was going so fast is that some of the girls were trying to leave behind one of the other girls.  These girls have been a troop since Kindergarten. They have been together in some form or another since pre-K. I know it’s not unusual for friends to get tired of certain friends, but the girls involved in this really did surprise me.  Both the ones being mean and the one getting left behind.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t until it was all over that this came to light.  DW discovered it, almost by chance when we had to address some of R’s pre-pubescent behavior. We thought R was trying to stay away from Coco. That was just part of the truth.  I tell you what; I would not have wanted to be on the receiving end of the smack down she got from DW and me.  I even did the pull-off-on-the-side-of-the-road so we could address it with the appropriate attention. There were lots of tears, and I’m pretty sure she was just a step away from hyper-ventilating.  Coco was laying low and trying to stay unnoticed.

DW had some really horrible Mean Girl experiences when she was growing up.  Really. Horrible. They very much shaped who she has become, and she very firmly believes that had some adult taken notice and put a stop to what was going on her childhood would have been very different.  So, to say that she has no tolerance for anything Mean Girl related is a huge understatement.

End result – R and Coco both now know that not only is it unacceptable to be mean, but that it is their job to let people know that they are not allowed to be mean, and that they are also charged with going to be with the one getting picked on to be their friend.  It’s a big responsibility, but we think that it’s what’s right.  Easy?  No, not at all, but doing what’s right often isn’t, and the earlier they learn this, the better off they, and ultimately, others will be.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some ointment to put on DW's face.

Meet Angel Lawson

I’ve known Angel Lawson in one way or another for a long time.  She can be surprisingly shy so I arranged this interview where she’d be most comfortable; her couch by herself away from all her familial distractions, hoping for her to really open up to me about her writing process.  I should’ve known better.  Kidding! She shared some insight to her writing process and the village that helps keep her Writing Village in order.  I hope you enjoy. 

TB – So first off, congratulations on your book!  This is really exciting. Now, am I correct in saying that you’re giving away the e-book version for free(!!!) of Wraith this weekend?

AL – Yes! It’s my birthday and in the Angel Lawson house you have to pick a birthday to give away stuff instead of receiving stuff. So if the kids can do it then so can I.

TB – That’s pretty generous.  How does that work?

AL – Go to Amazon and download the book to any Kindle receptive product (kindle, computer, iPhone, iPad)

http://www.amazon.com/Wraith-ebook/dp/B0076E8ME4/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&qid=1330093100&sr=1-1-catcorr

TB – How long was the process of doing the book? I mean, coming up with the idea, doing a first draft, editing, finalizing,  getting it turned into an e-book, cover design, etc.  How long did that take?

AL – It took me about 6 months to fully write and edit the book. Then I shelved it for a while, wrote another book and then went back and re-edited again. The second edit took me all of spring break last year.  The formatting process took about 2 months but I was relying on awesome free labor so that may be different than other people. I made the cover so that took me a couple hours once I had the idea together.

TB – Did you have any preconceived notions going into it for the time and effort it would take?

AL – No. I had written some before but nothing on this large of a scale. I kind of tried to have a deadline. I started in the winter and knew it had to be completed (draft wise) before summer starts since I work more in the summer and the kids are home from school.

 TB – What is a usual writing day for Angel Lawson like?   Do you have a set number of pages that you try to get accomplished a day?

AL – No. I really only actively write a couple days a week due to my schedule and ADD (self-diagnosed) if I can get focused I can usually write a 2k word chapter draft in one setting (maybe 3 hours) then I will go back in the next day or so to review it and make small edits. I can write about 5-6k words per week if I’m in the middle of it all.

TB – Were your friends surprised when they found out that you were writing?

AL – Ha! Lots still do not know.  The others? I’m not sure. It was a gradual process. I suspect no one really puts much past me.

TB – Writing is such an independent thing, but you had a good number of people help you out, right?

AL – Yes, it is widely known that it takes a village to help me do anything.

TB – How do you go about picking people to help you? 

AL – Well, when you have readers the first thing you want is people to tell you, “it’s awesome”, so that you are motivated to keep going. You want them to be critical but you also pick people who are your “audience” and will typically like what you are trying to say. The second wave you hope will be more opinionated on storyline and plot. Then comes the edits aka: Grammar Nazi’s. Those are a breed of people all on their own. Scary but necessary.

TB – Stephen King, in his book On Writing, says, “If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read a lot and write a lot.” Would you say you agree with that?

AL – Yes. The more you read the more you open your brain. The more you write the better you get at it.

TB – What are you currently reading?

AL –  Starring Sally J. Friedman, As Herself-Judy Blume. This was one of my favorite books as a kid. Recently, for my Retro-Bookclub, we picked Forever, by Judy Blume and I was at the used bookstore and found this book. I remembered it and had merged it in my mind with a different book from my childhood (Goodbye, Glamour Girl) that was based in the 1940s in NYC.  When I saw the book and read the back I got so excited that I had found it again. I was one of those kids who had books that were equal to my friends. It was like reuniting with my best friend from the 4^th grade.

TB – All right, let’s move off of the book for a little bit.  Talk to me about your overwhelming awesomosity.  It can’t be easy to carry that burden every day.

AL – It’s hard. I do my best.

TB – You’re quite the humble one.  I’m going to pull us back into writing, because honestly, I don’t know if people can handle too much Awesome at one time.  I like the graffiti motif on the cover and the way Connor is into it in a non-destructive kind of way.  Did you consider having him be the kind of guy that goes and tags places other than the waterworks ruins?  Would it have made him a considerably different character?

AL – I think Connor is more of an artist than an actual tagger. Plus, he’s not really in the position to draw a lot of attention to himself (especially the illegal kind). The Ruins give him a safe place to create.

TB –What kind of research did you do for Wraith?

AL Research?

TB – Okay, moving on.  Your main character, Jane Watts, is a good character.  She’s strong, but not in an unbelievable way.  The way other characters in the book react to her is pretty harsh. She’s alone a lot of the time in the book, with the exception of Evan, and eventually Connor.  Did you find it challenging to have to focus so much on her internal dialogues?

AL – I prefer to write dialogue all the time. I worry that the internal stuff is boring and too telling and not showing. But Jane is alone a lot, so it has to happen.

TB – Would you sell the rights to the book to be made into a movie?

AL – Duh. *I get to pick Connor

TB – What if the person that bought it turned it into a cheesy Lifetime made for TV movie?

AL – Have we met? I love cheesy Lifetime movies. OMG, maybe Valerie Bertinelli can play Aunt Jeanie. That would be awesome. Betty White for the grandma?

TB – Would you put any stipulations that you got to be involved in the casting?

AL –  *see above

TB – Do you listen to music when you write?  Are there any certain songs that you associate with this story?

AL –  Depends on the story and what I’m into at the time. I think I listened to the score and soundtrack from Remember Me when I wrote this as that was released around that time. The one I just completed was a lot of the Vampire Diaries Soundtrack. I’m mentally working on a new book and it’s all Explosions in the Sky.

TB – Anything new your readers can look forward to in the near future from Angel Lawson?

AL – I have one book in edits. Another one, a collaboration, is 95% done. A couple milling in my brain to work on next.

TB – Do you hope to make writing your full time job ever?

AL – Nah. I like part time jobs.

TB – Thanks for taking the time to talk to me and my 6 followers.  Maybe I can mooch off your followers once this comes out.  Ha ha ha. (seriously).  Any parting words of wisdom?

AL – Don’t fight the awesome.

TB – One last question: Would consider trying to get a table at Dragon*Con to promote and sell your books?

AL – Maybe. I’m not sure it’s cost effective, but I would love to do any kind of author panel or signing.

Angel Lawson, besides being a conduit of higher than average Awesomeness is an artist, mom, entrepreneur, and a surprisingly good clogger; although you shouldn’t ask her to show you because it would just be a waste of your time.  Check out her blog at http://succumbingtomyawesomeness.wordpress.com/

Pinterest...wait, WHAT?!?

So I've known about Pinterest for awhile because I know all these women who use it - DW being one, and so many other Thread Ladies, and yes, I've gone on it before and looked at all the things on there, because, you know what? I like to waste time on the Interwebs.  So there.  Yes.  I've looked at it.  It's fascinating really. I totally get why all these women go on it.


I never planned on asking for an invitation to get on it officially, but then one day I got an email saying I'd been issued an invitation. Ooooo!  Who's going to turn down an invitation?  Not me, brother, that's who.


So I go through the motions and click SUBMIT (I should've known better, I suppose), and then HOLY CRAP, I'm following all these women on Pinterest and it's EVERYWHERE on my emails and on Crackbook - Thomas is now following __________. Over and over and over. Dammit this thing is FAST! Apparently Pinterest is for women.


I throw on the Emergency Break, go and unclick everything I can find, and remove Pinterest from my allowed apps on Crackbook because as cool as I am with my ability to be in touch with my feminine side, I actually don't want people thinking I'm a complete Nancy Boy now, do I? [no, no I don't]


I'm still getting emails on a daily basis informing me who's following me on Pinterest now, and I can only think how disappointing it must be for them because I haven't done a thing with my Pinterest account.  My board is bare.  I also think that it's a sad state of affairs that I have more people following me on something I do absolutely nothing on than I do with this blog, my Tumblr and my Twitter account combined.


Okay, I get it.  I am experiencing a tremendous Fail with the whole social networking thing. Right.  Fine. I'm okay with that. (not completely okay with it, b/c I am a bit of an Emo Boy, but nothing that will keep me down for too long - http://youtu.be/zyUsJWO-7jM )


So, if any of you reading this want to make me happy you could always, I don't know, follow me on this blog that I infrequently update, but when I do I think it's entertaining. Including the In Praise of REO Speedwagon post.


By the way, I recently discovered something.  Something made for the Guy that wants to be on Pinterest, but doesn't want to hand over his Guy Card - Gentlemint.

It's Pinterest for men. Men. With manly things.  Look, you can see in the picture - a badass muscle car.  Tall speakers.  A turntable. ALF. ALF for goodness sake! And that wooden comb. I don't know anything more manly than a wooden comb.  So now I have Gentlemint.  I haven't done anything on it yet. My board's still bare on this one too.  I have even issued an invitation to a friend of mine to be on it, because it's so freaking awesome you have to get an invitation. Just like Pinterest!!! By the way, I was on the Beta list for invitations. I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool.


Ah, the Internet. Bringing people together by keeping us apart from others.  Good stuff.

In Praise of REO Speedwagon

Driving the Girls to school the other morning listening to the usual nonsense chatter in the back seat, Coco - "Daddy, what do you think would happen if you had a bouncy ball as big as the whole world?" when Roll With the Changes - http://youtu.be/eGgLPriZUSA came on.  I was listening to THE RIVER (that's how I imagine they think of themself; all caps, bold, italicized AND underlined) because typically they are not using the 7:30 time to take a break and tell me traffic that doesn't effect me or weather that will most likely be wrong.


Anyway, the song came on and I was internally rocking out to it, plucking the steering wheel with my imaginary pick for the solos, etc.  I totally got caught up in the song.


I thought to myself, man, REO Speedwagon really rocked.   I have thought this before. Some coworkers and I were discussing it actually after lunch one day.  Three of the four of us are all relatively the same age, so we all had the same radio experience growing up. 


I can't remember how it got started, but as we watched our 5th graders run around and play one of us started singing Take It On the Run. That wasn't unusual, because one of us was usually breaking out into song at any point.  (that seemed much less girly when I thought it in my head).  Some of the kids heard us and came up to listen.  We got all into it and started singing all their 80s hits.


Our 5th graders were used to us doing this, but three of us doing it together was a special draw.  We were so excited about REO Speedwagon, and how awesome they were that we issued the challenge of any kid that brought us their parents' REO Speedwagon CD would be exempt from homework the rest of the week. THE REST OF THE WEEK. It wasn't even Thursday or anything.


I knew their parents had at least their Greatest Hits CD.  These people were 10-15 years older than me.  They were totally the older kids at the skating rink that were couple skating or making out in the dark corners to I Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore - http://youtu.be/YYoh_sV35eA.


Sadly, not one of our 96 kids took us up on that offer.  That, or their parents are much cooler than we were giving them credit for.


I've veered off in the direction of REO Cheesewagon at this point, but it all comes back to the same thing, REO was a great band that put out some really good, albeit cheesy, radio hits.


I don't really know how they transformed from a really rocking band, i.e Riding the Storm Out - http://youtu.be/HTBv4kAdk_w or Time for Me to Fly - http://youtu.be/Ak6fZrkjWoA into the cheese factory of Feeling or Keep On Loving You - http://youtu.be/FgT_mJXbvCQ, but that's not unusual for a band to do. Look at The Goo Goo Dolls.  They were a great rocking band.  They have some really great stuff that kicks butt, but at some point John Rzeznik brought one of his ballads to the band, they recorded it and the Record Company Honchos decided, Ah ha!  A FORMULA! From that point on the only songs you ever heard on the radio from The Goo Goo Dolls were their ballads.


And that's okay.  They're good, sometimes great songs, but they still used to be a rocking band, and probably still are in concert, because you can't just play slow acoustic numbers live.


So, REO Speedwagon to The Goo Goo Dolls.  I don't know if the kids and teenagers that were growing up to Iris and Black Balloon were couple skating or making out the same way their older counter parts were to REO, but it's possible.


All this to say, when REO comes on the radio, resist that urge to automatically change it to something more hip; although truthfully, you're not going to find any hip music on the FM stations (I've covered that already).  Take a minute and let it soak in.  Let it take you back to where you were when it was released. If you're like me it will be to a simpler, carefree time.  That's some good stuff right there.  At least for 5:37.

Believe

I saw Arthur Christmas  today.  My Tweet as I was waiting for my Coke Zero (stupid Movie Tavern showing Coke Zero commercials, but not selling the drink!)Diet Coke  was, "I love seeing movies. It is one of my favorite things.  I've seen two this break.  Neither that I've wanted to see."


Clearly, you can tell that I wasn't really excited about seeing Arthur Christmas.  I guess it's important here to say that it is not Arthur's Christmas, like I thought it was going into it.


Well, what a surprise I was in for.  I don't know if it's that I went into it with such low expectations or that it's just such a good movie.  I think both, but I'm inclined to say that it is weighing down more on the side of It's a Really Good Movie because it is just that.


The story is that Santa Claus is a family business, and that Santa serves for 70 years before stepping down and letting his son take over for him.


The current Santa is on his 70th run, which by now is a super high tech operation.  Think Mission: Impossible with elves instead of Tom Cruise.  Well, okay, Mission: Impossible with lots of Tom Cruises. Anyway, the playout of Christmas Eve night is brilliant.  BRILLIANT!  I am very happy to accept that this is the way it is done now.  I'm hoping that the movie makers haven't put themselves on the Naughty List forever by giving away this secret.


Santa himself is just a figurehead.  His son, Steve, is the brains behind the organization, and Steve is planning on taking over the family business. The previous Santa is around too.  His character is funny and quite pivotal later in the movie.


Younger brother Arthur's job is to answer letters from kids to Santa. He reassures doubters, he praises drawings of Santa, but he's a bit of a clod.  A well meaning clod, but in a well oiled machine, a clod, no matter how well meaning, doesn't fit in.


The Problem comes in the fact that a present somehow does not get delivered.  Billions of presents are delivered around the world in a matter of hours.  One present does not add up to much.  The percentage is infintesimally small.  Steve quotes it.  There are lots of zeros in front of the actual number. Not to worry.


Santa's ready for bed.  Steve's ready to take over the reins.  But Arthur discovers the forgotten present, and being the one that answers the letters, he knows that Megan needs to get this bike.  Belief is on the line. "In Santa, We Believe" is the motto of the organization, by the way. Arthur gets this.  The elves get It.  They are totally wrapped up in It. Santa got it, but he's old and tired, and just a, "uh, figurehead, yes yes."  Steve does not get it.  Does. Not. Get. It.


Luckily Arthur does and devotes himself to fixing this situation.  That's all I'm going to say about the plot.  You need to see this movie; although it left the Movie Tavern today, so you may have to wait until next Christmas when it's on DVD.


I think only a Grinch, a seriously grinchy Grinch would not like this movie.  I have some grouchy tendencies - you can ask DW, the Girls, or many others that know me, but grumpy and grinchy are very different things.


As daughter #1, who from this point on shall be referred to as Boogie, gets older, I worry about the whole Santa thing.  DW and I encourage the belief.  I strongly encourage belief in all manners of things.  It wasn't until two years ago that she caught on that cartoons are not real (I can't say that I wasn't disappointed that the realization hit).  Anyhoo, 


I think what I'm going to say, if she ever mentions doubt, or is given a setback by a friend who says that Santa's just her parents, is this:  Santa doesn't come to kids whose parents don't believe.  He lets them do that job so he can concentrate his efforts and love on those that do believe.


I say this to say that I do believe in Santa.  I believe that I saw Santa Christmas night in 1976 in LaGrange, GA when I got up in the middle of the night.  My Grandmother Benefield was with me.  I guess she was getting me some water or something, but I saw Santa going around the corner when I peaked my head in the living room.  Again.  I saw Santa going around the corner when I peaked my head in the living room.


I know that Christmas is seen by many people as many different things.  The birth of The Savior.  Toys, toys and more toys.  Capitalism at its finest.  Affluenza at its worst. Whatever.  For me it's a time to rekindle my love of belief, my love of wonder and I treasure movies like Arthur Christmas, Elf and A Christmas Story that help me get that feeling.


Merry Christmas to those that celebrate.  Happy Holidays to those that don't. Peace to you all.


yerlifeguard

Why Santa Won't Be Bringing Us a Wii

Junkie. Addict. Slave to the Game.  These words describe me in a completely without a trace of hyperbole regarding Video Games.  Like most addicts my problem goes way back.  Way, way back to 1981.

My brother and I didn't lack for anything growing up.  I would even venture to say that we were spoiled to a degree. Thing is, we didn't go without, but sometimes what we went with was a step or two below what we really wanted.

All my friends had the Atari 2600. Awesome. All those cool games.  I was so jealous.
We had Intellivision:

It was cool.  I loved it.  I played it all the time.  I learned everything about poker from Intellivision.  That may explain why I don't play today. "Double Down!  Double Down!"

Seriously, it was better than the Atari.  Better graphics, probably retailed for more than the Atari.  Don't let that lead you to believe that my mom paid full retail for it. She rarely paid retail for anything.  JCPenny Outlet Store was responsible for  a good chunk of my childhood toy collection.

The Intellivision didn't have the game selection that Atari did.  My biggest regret is there was no Pitfall.

Intellivision isn't the point here, but I've got to talk about it for a while.  I had some friends who had it, too. I don't know if their mom told mine or mine told theirs, but we spent a lot time together playing Intellivision.  Golf, Football, Skiing and Baseball are the games that I remember playing the most.  They were fun.  The keypad and disc hand control worked good, as long as your fingers weren't covered in buttered popcorn residue.  It was a lot different than the 2600's joystick, and it inspired some trash talking from the Atari owners.

Right, so back on track.  Video Games and why the Benefields won't be getting any consoles for Christmas.

I've told the Girls that we're not allowed to have a video game console because, "Daddy has a problem with them."
R - "What kind of problem?"
Coco - "Are you allergic to 'em?"
Me - "No, I can't stop playing them once I start."
R - "What do you mean, you won't let anyone else play?"
Me - "No, I just won't stop playing.  Or if I do stop playing I keep thinking about it until I'm playing it again."
Dear Wife (DW) - "It's true. He would get up in the middle of the night to play a game."
R &  Coco  "WHAT?!?!?"
Me - (nodding my head sadly) - "It's true."

And it is true.  Once I start a game that has any kind of level I can't/won't stop.  And it's not because I'm good and I want to get through the levels really quickly.  I've never been very good at video games.  At birthday parties as a kid when the Mom would give everyone their $5 in quarters mine would be gone first.  It was terrible, but at the same time it was AWESOME.

                  So after Intellivison, well, Intellivision II,

I had a little break.  I would break it out every once in awhile, but after you've played some of the greater arcade games Mattel's video game doesn't hold much of a candle to them.

Flash forward to college.  My last year not quite-last year one of my roommates had a Nintendo.  I don't remember which model it was, but what he had was Street Fighter 2.  We played that thing FOREVER.

I could probably calculate the ratio of time spent playing that to time not going to class.  Did I mention it was supposed to be my last year of college?  Hours and hours and hours.  Talking trash, drinking 2 liters of Coke and having my man, Blanka kick some serious a$$.

Each of the housemates had their own character. Most of them knew secret codes that would make their characters do crazy things that would knock their opponent out.  Me, not so much.  As I mentioned earlier, I'm not really good at video games.  I just pushandclickandpunchandpushandclickandpunchandclick and I'd win some.

After graduating and moving on I somehow got my hands on a Star Wars computer game.  My computer at home wasn't powerful enough to play it without shutting everything else down, so I took it to school and played after I finished grading papers the kids left until I went home. Crap! It's 5:00 already!!! Luckily some punk came in my room, rifled through my desk and took it from me.

When DW and I were doing Yellow Dog Folk Art one of our artist friends gave me a copy of some version of Halo. Oh my dear Lord.  I played that game constantly.  I would literally play until DW told me to stop and go to bed.  Then I would wake up in the middle of the night and play.  For hours. For. Hours. No strategy mind you.  Just play.

So Santa will not be bringing the Benefield Girls a Wii, or an X-Box, or a Kinnect, or even a retro Atari 2600.  Because that's a beast that doesn't need to be fed, and there's a hunger lurking inside of me just waiting until I let my guard down.

Luckily, the only games The Girls are interested in are the Just Dance/Dance Fever variety, and fortunately unfortunately I don't dance.  It's one of the Things I Can't Do.  Although, if I got one of those maybe I'd learn some moves...